Operational bachelorette party. Comedy. А play for 5 people [Николай Владимирович Лакутин] (fb2) читать постранично, страница - 2

him under any circumstances. We are sooooooooo different. But we communicate normally. So… we can make fun of each other. But no more. By the way, he is married, but I don't like his wife, a complete fool. (Playfully.) So if anything, look… I don't mind!

Damira (modestly, blushing). Xaaaana, what are you….

Xana (in her own way, Damire). You can Ksyu! It's okay, it's life. Who managed, that and sneakers. And his sneakers, I think, are normal!

Damira (modestly, blushing). Oh, no. I'm not like that. Family is sacred!

Xana (in her own way, Damire). Yes, we are all not like that! (He turns to Bela for support.) Belka, tell me?

Bela shrugs uncertainly.

Xana (in her own way, Bela). So, come on, tell me. What's your story?

Xana and Damira are all paying attention, looking at Bela.

Bela (hesitantly). Yes… I don't even know how to say it… It's uncomfortable somehow.

Xana (in her own way, Bela). Squirrel, what are you? All your own! Do you know how many of these goats I've had in my life? I've been in such stories… mmmmm…. Sometimes I don't believe it myself. But it was. It was! Well, what do you have there? Changed it?

Bela (sighing). Ah… no.

Damira (sincerely). How not?

Bela and Xana look questioningly at Damira.

Damira (excusing herself). Well, I mean… I mean that… what is the problem then, if not this?

Bela (sighing). Simply… He just told me I was nothing. Well, I mean… in the same sense — no!

Xana (sympathetically, Bele). Asshole!

Damira (sympathetically). Wow… For a guy to say something like that to a girl… As soon as the tongue turned.

Bela (sighing). Girls, I'm really really not a specialist. Well, where would I have learned all sorts of wisdom there, because I had the first Stasik… And last.

Xana (sympathetically, Bele). Oh, come on… The last one. To put an end to all the men because of one sheep.

Damira (sympathetically, Bele). Forget it and don't worry! Experience is a gainful thing. I'm not a pro myself, but in a couple of years, while I was wiping corners with my Nikita in dorms, I learned something. We studied together!

Xana (with support, Damire). Here! This is what it is when we are together. And when one has experience, and the second has just embarked on this path… It is clear that this does not end well. But opening your mouth about it is also not the case. (White.) By the way, how much with this, his… What's his name?

Bela (sadly, with nostalgia). Stasikom …

Xana (busily, Bele). Oh! Exactly. With Stasik with his own. Not for long, surely you met? When I just managed to fall in love. I can see it in his eyes, the resentment against him is not in an empty place. You love…, like.

Bela looks down guiltily.

Bela (sadly, with nostalgia). Today was exactly a month.

Xana (busily, Bele). Tyuyuyuy! And that's why you're so upset? Forget it altogether. Too much for me, an episode. Another name is such a stupid one. Stasik. Is that what someone else calls someone?

Damira (carefully, Xane). In general, my dad is Stas. Stanislav Viktorovich.

Xana (guiltily covering her mouth with her palm). Oh, shit! Girls, I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't say much. I'm sorry, a drunk fool. By the way… Let's take the second one. And then I feel like I'm already a fool, but not much of a fool. And I would like to be stronger. I just adore myself as a fool!

Xana pours everyone a little more.

They raise the stacks.

Xana (busily). To eat and drink, to want and could! Let's go…

they drink on the second. Have a snack.

Xana (with interest, Damire). And what about Nikita, with the dorm… Are you together now, or what?

Damira (a little sadly). Broke up… A week ago.

Xana (with interest, Damire). What broke up?

Damira (evasively). Well… So it happened.

Xana (with cunning). Eeeee, the Lady seems to be more aggressive than the Squirrel. (Damire.) Am I right, huh?

Damira (a little indignantly). How do you know everything?

Xana (with cunning). I can see it in your eyes. I know that look. She's no better. Well? Who is he? Some Ahmad? Or Rinat? Owner of a medium-sized business. 30–40 years old, lonely, but does not rush to the embrasure? Cautious?

Damira (a little scared, Xane). What are you? Clairvoyant?

Xana (with cunning). Straight! An ordinary bitch.

Bela (with interest, Damire). Did you guess everything?

Damira (carefully, Bele). Partly. His name is a simple Russian name, Roman. But his business is connected, oddly enough, with the cuisine of not our nationality. He has a chain of Caucasian restaurants.

Bela (surprised). Baaaaa…

Xana (approvingly). Well, there! The normal option. Well done! So? Well? What's there? How's it going?

Damira (sighing and waving away). Let's have another one, otherwise it's not so easy to tell.

Damira takes the initiative, pours a refill.

Bela looks questioningly at her new friends.

Xana (approvingly, Bele). It's fine!

They lift, clink glasses, drink, exhale.

Damira (kosovato, but cheerfully). In short!

Xana and Bela lean on the table. With an oblique eye, they listen to Damira.

Damira (kosovato, in her own way). Nikita — he's a normal guy, but zanuuuuda, kapets! The first year I actually somehow tolerated him. They quarreled constantly, then reconciled. In the second year of such an unstable and emotional relationship, I already somehow have this whole thing …

Xana (with understanding). I understand.

Bela (surprised, Damire). Damira, wait. And …

Damira (kosovato, White). What?

Bela (surprised, Damire). So, after all, on the contrary, everything should kind of be?

Damira (kosovato, Bele). What do you mean?

Bela (surprised, Damire). Well…, swearing is reconciliation. Emotions. Passion! After all, it's great when it's like on a volcano? Everyone dreams about the same thing. Or….

Bela turns a cautious look at Xana.

Bela (carefully, Xane). Or not all of them?

Damira grins.

Xana (with knowledge of the matter, Bele, slurping loudly). For the time being. And you get tired of routine relationships, and the "volcanic drive" is not always a joy. Measure and tact are important here. Volcanoes like this sometimes get into a loop, if you didn't know!

Bela (carefully, to the girls). Yeah?

Damira (kosovato, girls). Yes, I was just the opposite, I was ready to put my own in a loop. I got it specifically. I got it, I got it. Well…

Bela (cautiously, with fright, Damire). What are you? His… (Shows a strangulation gesture on himself.) Ahem?

Damira (calmly, Bele). Why bring it to this? I just packed my things and look for fistulas. Moreover, at that time I was already in full communication with Roman.

Xana (ambiguous).

Damira (enthusiastically, Xane). Yes! And he, by the way, actively showed me signs of attention!

Bela (cautiously, looking at the girls with uncertainty). And…, I'm sorry…, actively, how is it?

Xana (pityingly, Bele). Squirrel …, you're still very, very green …

Bela guiltily looks away.

Damira (in her own way, Bela). Come on, it's okay. What's the big deal? If you don't know, we'll teach you. Well, how does a man show signs of attention? He often writes, tries to joke. He's interested in your affairs. He offers to give you a ride if it turns out in the conversation that you are going somewhere. He gives flowers, calls to the cinema. He offers to sit in a cafe.

Xana (interrupts, affirmatively, knowledgeably, Bele). But the most important thing is the look!

Damira (to Xane, enthusiastically). Here! That's the whole problem and there is!

Xana (to Damire, with interest). What? Not lit?

Damira (to Xane, enthusiastically). You know, for some reason, not really. The guys took care of me, after all. Well, while I'm with Nikita. (To the girls.) No, don't think about it, I didn't cheat on him.

Xana frowns, looks doubtfully at Damira.

Damira (to Xane, in response to a biased look). Well, almost!

Bela (disapprovingly). Heh…

Xana nods approvingly to Damira.

Xana (Bele, with Damira's support). A little bit — does not count! And in general, by the way, for the future. Without this little bit, no normal relationship can exist at all. Who is this girl who doesn't twirl her tail? Why the hell was this tail then given to us by nature?

Bela (with disapproving surprise). Don't understand?

Xana (calmly, calmly). Squirrel, you understand! We have to inspire men. Encourage them to do great things. I hope you agree with this?

Bela