How to avoid becoming a spinster? [Ulbosyn Naurizbaevna Shaleken] (fb2) читать постранично, страница - 2

communication, the sooner you understand what kind of person he’s. The live conversation reveals true level of intelligence and manner of communication, whereas correspondence allows to gloss them over.

How to behave on dating sites

Upload your real photos. Don’t upload exceedingly blurry photos or those where you’re wearing glasses. I find it silly, to set a photo of you with a bouquet of flowers for profile picture. They may think that you have no end of boyfriends, and your heart has long been taken. Even if he wants to send you a message, will you read it?

It is no secret that nowadays, many girls come to dating sites looking for potential sponsors. Therefore, it is better to ask a guy about his financial situation when you meet him in person. Gently. I mean really gently. Not point-blank: okay, darling, now tell me…

Try to keep conversation easy and relaxed. Don’t tell him about your problems, plans, and projects straight away. Don’t try to drag him into any of your business. Stay away from the image of a businesswoman. It pushes people away. I don’t think this approach is helpful. It is absolutely useless. A guy has just met you how can he get into your business idea straight away?

Try to write competently and engage in dialogue correctly. Your spelling mistakes or completely stupid answers and questions may scare away educated, purposeful and literate men.

Don't write to him often! Even if you have a feeling you have known him a for ages, and therefore you have every right to know what he’s doing at 12 o'clock midnight. It may alert the guy reasonably: what will happen next if this is only the beginning?

Keep the conversation going. Odd emoticons, answers like: 'er', 'heh', 'oopsie doopsie' or answering him in a day are the most effective ways to kill the conversation.

I call it a day.

To sum up, online dating has its own upsides and downsides. In order to avoid the latter, check your feelings and build relationships preferably during offline communication. Maybe, someone dated a person online for years and then got married. I still tend more to live communication.)

That is the end of the first chapter, my dear reader. Let me finish my online dating stories with my favourite Italian word: 'Chicercatrova', which means: 'The one who seeks will always find'.

Chapter 2

Restaurants, bars, discos: can one meet a decent man?

– How did you meet your wife?

– Accidentally in a bar. Nobody to blame.

Author unknown.

If you regularly go to expensive restaurants, cafes and bars, do you’ve a chance to meet a wealthy man for a serious relationship? The question is quite rhetorical.

However, the most common place for finding a date is a nightclub or bar.

Nowadays, If all dating venues with a potential husband represent 100 percent, 50 percent of them falls on clubs and bars. You must admit that every weekend a good half of women who are now reading this book, love visiting such places, hoping to find a nice guy.

AND THERE IS NOTHING BAD IN DOING SO.

If a girl wants to drink wine or beer in the company of friends and get acquainted with a charming guy at the same time. What's wrong with that?

Many women prepare in advance. They buy smart dresses, blouses and skirts, visit a beauty salon. A friend of mine matched her going outs to sauna visits. First go to the sauna, then go out. Another friend of mine said that you need to sleep well before going to the bar or club to get there in high spirits and fully charged.

PIECE OF CAKE, CARL!

You’ren’t going there wearing a gym shirt or a house dress. I mean, when you have bad mood, stay at home and listen to music.

YOUR MOOD IS CRUCIAL!

You have to admit that even if you’re wearing a two-monthly-salary dress that sparkles and shines, but your eyes are dull and tired, it is unlikely you have fun to say nothing of meeting anybody!

Meet a beautiful guy in such places is trivial. Finding a husband there is more difficult. Although anything happens all the time. People go to clubs, discos, and restaurant to have fun. Therefore, they are relaxed, which plays a significant role in finding a common topic for conversation.

If a guy that wants to talk to you have at least something that catches you, give him a chance.

Music and a SMALL dose of alcohol can open out even the quietest and shiest person. Overall, the atmosphere of such places has its magic. Avoid getting wasted.

A joke on point:

A guy approaches a girl in the club thinking how to start a conversation.

Then he gathers his thoughts and asks:

– Oh, what lovely dimples you have!

– That’s my nostrils, idiot.

WHAT ABOUT DAYTIME DATING?

I used to pay attention to the way a guy is eating when I dined out with my friends.

If you want to know about his manners, just get a glimpse of the way he eats. A self-respecting person should know table manners and observe them in public. If the guy you like champs for everyone to hear, talks loudly over the phone, keeps telling off a waiter, looks through the bill for a long time, you should think twice if you need such a boyfriend.

There were times when my friends and I went to bars and discos. Now that I'm married, it happens a lot rarer. But I don't regret anything. Indeed, what to regret about? My husband and I can have a great evening in the bar with a company of friends.

I SPACED A BIT.

Overall, when I was single, I used to worry if a guy ordered gallons of beer or bottles of vodka for the whole company. Trivial drinking with colleagues or friends.

THAT IS A BOTTOM.

A drunk guy will hardly think about you the next morning. He’ll forget about a pretty girl sitting next table: I guest we met and gave our numbers. But the morning is terrible: 'headache, with partial amnesia'.

OVERALL…

It is impossible to know for sure whether another night outing will put over. You can dress up and look like Naya Rivera from my favourite show Glee, sit at the bar all night, sipping Sex on the Beach, snapping eyes at pretty guys, but go home without a single compliment.

Every bar in a city has its own policy towards men.

There are many bars in a metropolis, that allow you to meet somebody with no problem. The atmosphere in some of them reminds me of a school disco: girls dance in short dresses, high heels, actively waving their hair in all directions, setting their bra from time to time when guys stand around or stretch their necks from the tables to find a good match. To others, it may look like an auction, but that is how it is: this is the nowadays dating policy in many metropolitan bars. Finding a good guy here is no problem.

THE PROBLEM IS TO KNOW FOR SURE HOW SERIOUS HIS INTENTIONS ARE.

There are places where weekdays and to say nothing about weekends are literary packed with men. Lots of men. Many girls mistakenly think these are the places to meet a guy and find their happiness.

Alas…

Those guys are more likely there to drink beer, chat with a friend and complain about their lives. WHOM I MENTIONED ABOVE. There is only one thing they strive: have a nice beer and fall on the couch after.

So I don't think we should waste our time there.

Although…

There is also a got-wasted-together type of dating…

EVery case is unique.

Be patient, let me tell you one more thing. The chapter will soon over.

Of course, there are clubs in the metropolis aimed at thirtysomethings, but in fact they have long been aimed at fortysomethings. These clubs still exist, that means they remain popular.

These places tend to have retro style decoration with matching music and visitors. The bar, as a rule, has its denizens. Many visitors use this place for quick and short-term dating. It is suitable for those who feel uncomfortable in the posh atmosphere of an expensive restaurant.

Back to forty-five…

What's wrong with that? What if a 45 year old lady came alone or with a friend to such a place? May they want to meet somebody? Or they are here to see and be seen? Yes, what did you think?

Believe it or not, there is life for them as well! Who cares if she's married or not? She may be divorced or has a third marriage under her belt?

It seems to me that today wasting your time analyzing the lady's genuine night-bar-intentions is stupid.

Everyone goes to bars in the middle of the night. We live and enjoy ourselves. There are hellholes too, but nobody drags you there. There are plenty of good places.

You can meet somebody in any entertainment places. Find a husband! Why not? Even if you don’t find a husband